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Arguments happen. Not everyone is going to agree with everyone all of the time, nor should they expect to. But when you’re in a relationship, the context of arguments can become very emotional, to a point when you can hurt the other’s feelings. But there are ways that you can learn how to fight fair so that you both learn from the argument instead of ruin a relationship.

1) Don’t lecture

When you’re in an adult relationship, you should treat each other like adults. When one person begins to lecture the other person about what they did wrong, it sets up a power divide that can create animosity and discord. Instead of trying to be ‘right,’ why not try to talk about what’s going on to see how you can fix it?

2) Don’t sweat the small details

When you’re in an argument, it’s not beneficial to fight about little things that probably won’t matter in a few days. Think about something before you bring it up and if you know that you won’t ever remember the point in six months, you probably don’t even need to mention it. The same rule applies for anything that happened well before the argument – stick to the argument at hand and focus only on those details.

3) Don’t take everything personally

When you’re in the heat of an argument, you can become flustered and say things that you might not normally say. Realize that your partner is doing this as well, and that you want to focus on listening for the important stuff that they are saying, and dismissing things that may have been said out of anger.

4) Try not to yell

When emotions are high and tempers are flared, it’s difficult to maintain your composure – especially when your partner is yelling too. But it’s vital to your argument (as well as your health) to keep your voice low and calm. This helps to bring a little peace to the argument and will keep both partners from screaming at each other. And when you can actually hear each other, you’ll be able to focus on the real issues in a more mature manner.

5) Avoid guilt trips

When you’re hurt by someone, the first response is to try to hurt them back with some sort of guilt trip. But while this might seem like a good idea, it’s actually helping to erode your relationship. You want to talk about the issues at hand and not assign blame to them. When you blame someone for something and try to make them feel guilty, you are saying that you are right and they are wrong – and that’s no way to have an argument that gets settled.

6) Don’t attack them

As tempting as it might be to get in some personal attacks when you’re feeling mad, stop for a second to think about how it would make you feel. When you’re trying to heal a relationship bump, you want to focus on the issue at hand, leaving personal attacks out of it. They’re only going to ruin any progress that you have made.

7) Focus on one issue at a time

Like some of the previous advice, the best thing you can do is identify the problem that you are having and deal with that issue alone. When you start to talk about multiple issues, you will begin to confuse them and might not fully address them. You want to both figure out what is upsetting you the most, deal with it, and then move onto something else.
Listen

As hard as it might seem to listen during an argument, it can help both of you determine what you need to do. The other person could be quite clearly telling you what they need to fix the problem, but if you’re not listening, you’re not using the solution that has been presented to you.

9) Don’t leave

Another hard thing to do is stick it out in an argument, but it will make sure that you are finishing what you have started. Even if you feel that you can’t take anymore, tell your partner that you have to collect yourself for a moment, but that you will be back to finish the discussion.

10) Be respectful

When you want the argument to be a learning experience instead of a fight, you will want to show your respect of the other person. Pay attention, ask questions as needed, make eye contact, and be calm. Together, you can work through whatever you are dealing with.

What’s a sure-sign that he’s absolutely crazy about you? When he showers you with flowers? When he gets jealous the minute you look at other men? Or when he stays at your place every night for a week? Actually - none of the above. If you’d like to be sure you’re not kidding yourself when you imagine the two of you together in the future - look to the little things he does, not the big showy romantic gestures. Here are the most 10 obvious signs that he’s serious about the relationship.

HE CALLS FOR NO REASON

“Hi, what are you up to?”; “I thought I’d let you know I made a reservation for dinner as I said I would and it’s at 8 o’clock like we agreed” are the kind of comments that give away the real motive for this kind of call; he misses you; is head over heels for you and; can’t go one more second without speaking to you. While you talk he ignores all incoming calls and signs off “I can’t wait to see you again.” Give him extra points for thoughtfulness if he calls you at work and is sensitive enough to realise you can’t chat so he says “I won’t keep you because I know you’re busy but I just needed to hear your voice.”

HE TURNS UP ON TIME

When he says he’s going to be there on the dot at 8pm, he’s never more than a few minutes late. And on the rare occasion he is held up he pays you the courtesy of calling so you don’t have to needlessly rush to get ready. This kind of punctuality might seem an insignificant thing - but it speaks volumes about his respect for you. It shows that he cares about what you think of him so he wants to demonstrate he’s reliable.

HE TUNES IN TO YOUR EVERY WORD

When you’re in a mid conversation at the cafe he doesn’t play with the fork nor is he distracted by the conversation at the next table. His eyes barely leave your face because he is hanging on every thing you say. He doesn’t dominate the discussion by interrupting, finishing your sentences or taking the conversation in a new direction. He is genuinely listening! It is clear in the way he laughs sincerely when you tell him something funny and responds to what you are saying by giving you is opinions on the subject, making helpful suggestions and sharing his own similar stories.

HIS FRIENDS KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU

And it’s not just the usual body talk like how gorgeous you are or what bra size you wear. They know what car you drive, what you do for a living, that you love japanese food but can’t drink red wine because you get a rash. It’s not like thay’ve been asking for these details - it’s just that he can’t stop talking about you 24/7!

HE BRINGS UP THE “F” WORD

Not that one - the other F word - fidelity. Just when you’re worried that he might think you’re dating with no strings attached he says “I want to be clear what we’re doing here - I want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend and to me that means being faithful to each other. Do you feel the same way?” With an enormous sense of relief and elation you say “yes” to being his girl and as you kiss passionately and each pledge fidelity, your mutual trust and intimacy immediately grows. It’s official: He considers you a couple.

HE TAKES AN INTEREST IN YOUR INTERESTS

When a guy falls for you in a big way he’ll want to know everything about you and that includes a full understanding of your likes and dislikes. If your hobby is collecting retro furniture he’ll have the good grace to feign interest when you spend all afternoon scouring second hand shops - although he’d rather be home working on his car. Don’t worry - he’s not becoming a “yes” man - he’s simply trying to get closer to you in every part of your life - and sharing your interests is an obvious way to do it.

HE GIVES YOU A KEY TO HIS PLACE

Not only does this gesture shout “I trust you” it also shows that he’s certain you’re going to be in the picture for a long time to come. Men are often very protective about their domestic domain. They may hold off taking a new girlfriend to their flat in case she thinks the decor is daggy or starts thinking that maybe he’s hinting he’d like her to move in when that’s last thing on his mind. In light of this, being given the key to his place is like passing an intimation ceremony - now that your relationship has graduated to the next level he is letting go of his bachelor ways and saying “what’s mine is yours”

AFTER SEX HE WANTS TO CUDDLE AND CHAT

No rolling onto his side the second he climaxes and no quick descent into snoresville after a perfuntory cuddle. Instead, the afterglow of sex is charged with emotion, touching and intimate disclosures. He wants to know if you had a great climax and wants to tell you how the earth moved for him as well. Chances are he’s already desiring to make love to you again. Or if he’s too tired to do so he’ll hold you, stroke your face and nuzzle your neck while the conversation is incredibly intimate.

HE’S NICE TO YOUR FRIENDS

From the moment he met your friends he made an effort to remember all their names. Now that you’ve been dating a while, he’s considered one of the gang. He talks to your pals about everything from boy troubles to cramps and makes an effort to say all the right things. He’ll also hassle your shy single friends to get up and dance with the two of you so they can enjoy a spin on the floor without feeling like fair game. Don’t presume that being such a SNAG is his second nature - any man who makes an effort to win over his girlfriend’s posse wants to keep her happy and to be around her as much as he possibly can.

HE ASKS FOR YOUR OPINION

In just about every decision he makes - from which shirt to wear to a job interview to which kind of car he should buy, he solicits your opinion. This indicates that he respects what you have to say and that he believes you not only have good judgement but have skills, abilities and insights that can help hi, improve his life.

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You’ve been seing a man who loves you, whether he uses the word or not. He loves being with you. Even so, he hasn’t commited himself to you fully. Just follow these tips to get a man to commit.

You are out in the club and this beautiful woman walks past by you. She touches her hair, smiles a little, and looks around. You were looking at her all this time and you think you will never get to ask her out and if you ever did, she will surely reject you.

Well, you are so wrong.

If you have been observing her body language well enough, you should have noticed that she was actually checking you out and giving out hints for you to make the move. Now, do not let another opportunity like this pass you by. You seriously need to study a womans body language. Here is a helpful guide for you so you would not have to spend your weekends alone anymore.

First things first. You need to understand that there are just two kinds of body language, open gestures and closed gestures. Open gestures mean that a woman is interested while close gestures tell you that she would rather be alone. Let us go through these two one by one.

Open Gestures

If a woman flips her hair and immediately afterwards glances your way, then that is a clear sign that she is interested in you and that she is trying to catch your attention by catching your eye.

How she reacts to eye contact is also an important body reaction to observe. Try to establish eye contact. If she looks away, then she is not that into you. If she does something to show that she has obviously become nervous because you are looking at her (playing with her jewelry, suddenly looking at her phone, or adjusting her clothes), then that means that she is interested and in fact a little attracted to you.

When you approach her to start a conversation and she leans forward, then it is her way of saying that she is yours for the taking. If she exposes her wrists and the palm of her hands, then that is her subconscious saying that she is willing to submit to you. It really is the subtlest way of saying that if you want her, you can have her. You know you have gotten it all right when she begins touching you and laughing at almost everything that you are saying. Yes, that is probably the alcohol but it is also her minds way of showing that it is comfortable with you and she is definitely attracted to you.

Closed Gestures

A woman crossing her arms is clearly telling you that she would rather be alone. It is not that she does not like you. It could be because she is agitated, uncomfortable, or just is not interested in meeting men in general at that moment.

When you start making your move and she likewise starts to roll her eyes, then that is not just a sign that you are making her nervous. She is actually embarrassed with what you are doing and she does not want anyone to see it. You have practically zero chances with a woman who does this. More so, if she leans back while you are about to approach her, then she is obviously giving you a signal to move away.

Based on studies, a womans body language expresses more than half of what she means even more than words. Therefore, it really helps to understand it but it is not fool proof. If you really like someone, then go ahead and talk to her even if her body is already screaming for you to leave. The worse thing that could happen is that she will just tell you point blank that she does not like you. There is really nothing here to lose. Take hints from the way her body talks but it is really up to you to decide on how to act on it.

Let’s face it, every man wants a beautiful woman by his side. This has held true throughout history. Society, the media, and even our own peer group has taught us that picking up on a beautiful is reserved only for the wealthy, the famous, or the really good-looking men. For the most part this is true. Yet there are a small percentage of men that have figured out what it really takes to pick up on a beautiful woman.

If picking up a beautiful woman was easy, more men would do it right? Unless you’re a natural with women, this can be one of the most difficult things you can do. A lot of men look for the latest pick up lines, routines, or want to know what topics would make for good conversation. Some men even go so far as talking about their cars, their career, the big screen television, or their home. What they don’t realize is that talking about these things sounds insecure, desperate, and shallow. It also attracts the wrong kind of woman.

My opinion on this is I want a woman who wants to be with me for the way I make her feel and that she appreciates my individual qualities that make me who I am. I don’t want to try and impress her because of what I drive, what I live in, or any of the material possessions that I own. Men who have to resort to that have no “game”. By “game” I’m talking about the different skill sets a man has to have in order to approach a woman, start a conversation, build rapport, build desire within her, and make himself the prize to be chased and not the other way around.

Picking up on a beautiful woman all starts with the foundation to your game. To have tight game or a solid skill set to pick up on women just about anywhere you have to have a solid base to work from. You would never build a house on a weak, mud foundation, you would build it on a solid cement foundation. The taller and bigger the building, the deeper and stronger your foundation has to be. So think of it this way. If you want to approach and game a beautiful woman who is a 6 on a scale of 10, ten being the most beautiful and 5 being of average looks, then your foundation needs to be solid. If you want to approach and pick up on a woman who is a 9 or a 10 you better have a deeper and stronger foundation.

So what do I mean by having a solid foundation or solid game? Let’s break it down into a managable, basic core of skill sets to focus on. The good news is that you don’t have to focus on all of them at the same time. Here are just a few you need to be aware of:

1. The Approach 2. Building Rapport 3. Building Attraction 4. Building Natural Confidence 5. Conversation Skills 6. Obtaining Her Contact Information 7. Phone / Internet / E-mail Game 8. Setting Up The First Date 9. The First Kiss 10. Increasing Your Social Network

While we don’t have the room here to talk about all of them in great detail, let’s talk about the first one to give you an idea what I’m talking about. The Approach is a huge part of your foundation because without approaching a woman, you can never build rapport, which means you’ll never build enough attraction to obtain her contact information. This is true whether you’re online meeting women or if you’re in a bar, nightclub, super market, coffee shop, bookstore, or where ever you find women.

A lot of men suffer from approach anxiety. Usually they are thinking about the potential rejection or feel they don’t know what to say. The problem is that approaching women is a learned skill, which means you have to do it and do it often to refine your craft. Unless you approach at least a dozen women this coming weekend, you’re not going to get better. “If you’re a beginner you should start off approaching at least one woman per day that you do not know,” says dating coach Rod Cortez. “Within a 90 day period, you should be approaching no less than 25 women per week.”

This is now commonly referred to as “The Rule Of 25″. The reason why men are generally not good at approaching women is that they don’t do enough of it. Now let’s take a look at building rapport. One way men blow this is that they come off as too needy, insecure, or desperate. These kind of behaviors do not build any kind of rapport. There are dozens of ways to build rapport. One common way is to use a combination of your sense of humor, confidence, and the ability to playfully tease when the opportunity presents itself. When you treat a woman almost like one of the boys or “like your bratty little sister”, says Dating Expert David DeAngelo, you are communicating that her beauty does not intimidate you. You are also subtley communicating that you are used to dealing with pretty women.

Picking up on a beautiful woman does take commitment and hard work, but here is the interesting thing: over time you will find it getting easier and easier. After a few months you will look back and wonder why you ever worried about rejection or not sure on what to say.

That title could cause a few to become very angry with this writer, and that is understandable. “Go ahead and blame the victim,” “It’s all your own fault for staying there,” some would say.

Is that what this article is trying to say?

Absolutely not!

Some excuses offered for taking the abuse

Many times, people, especially women, will stay in an abusive, physical or emotional relationship, even after years of being diminished as a human being, with either no excuse or excuses that seem lame, mystifying all who look on from the outside.

Their reasons may be: · “I can’t afford to leave,”

· “My children need a father,”

· “It’s too scary to be alone,”

· “He/She will change,”

· “He came from an abusive family.”

· “I’m scared to leave, he may kill me or my children.”

True, all of these excuses may sound like legitimate reasons for staying, except, regardless of the reasons given, the fact remains that the person on the receiving end of the abuse, physical or emotional, if they survive, eventually end up with a low self-esteem. They are guided by fears of every kind that paralyze them to a point of not making necessary changes that will improve their lives.

To some, it may be easier to just “go with the flow” and manipulate the family to the whims of the abuser, just for the sake of peace. The longer they exist in that environment, the more helpless they are to remove themselves from that life style. If they ever manage to escape from the situation, chances are that they will fall into another relationship similar to the last one.

Better ways to peace and a healthy self-image

Not just the wounded adult, but the children and teenagers of abusive environments definitely, need to be counseled and given ample opportunity to learn to view themselves in a wholesome, healthy way. It is important that they understand that the main burden upon them as individuals, is to know they do not deserve abuse and will not tolerate it from anyone, ever again. If not, the familiar patterning may appear in their new friendships, starting the cycle all over again.

Is there an answer? An expert speaks about the “Stockholm Syndrome”

Clint Van Zandt is an MSNBC analyst. During his 25-year career in the FBI, he was a supervisor in the FBI’s internationally renowned Behavioral Science Unit at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA. He was also the FBI’s Chief Hostage Negotiator and has been chief investigator in the search for Osama Bin Laden; was a leader of the analytical team tasked with identifying the “Unabomber,” and many other high profile investigations.

In his article WHY WE LOVE THE ONES WHO HURT US, he tells of hostages who sometimes become sympathetic to the hostage takers. As unbelievable as that sounds, there is an actual syndrome that explains the reactions of some, after being taken hostage and abused and yet sympathizing with the perpetrator. It is called “The Stockholm Syndrome.”

The name arose from a heavily armed bank robber named Olafson, who took three women and a man hostage in a Stockholm Sweden bank. He strapped dynamite to their bodies and forced them into the bank vault. The man refused to negotiate with the police and held them hostage for 6 days.

The shocking part of the situation was that one or more of the female captives were sympathetic with their captor and even admitted to consensual physical intimacy with him. Later, one of the women broke her engagement to her intended and became engaged to Olafson. Another woman started a defense fund for the robber’s legal defense.

Eventually “the Stockholm Syndrome” was used as the explanation for a type of emotional bonding, that is in reality, a survival strategy for victims of emotional and physical abuse—including not only hostages, but also battered spouses and partners, abused children and even POW’s.

Van Zandt suggests in his article: “If the victim of the abusive relationship is your child or a friend, you need to remain supportive and not put even more stress, pressure, and guilt on the abused individual. An abuser can change, but he/she must want to change, and the longer he is allowed to abuse, the less likely he is to alter his behavior. If emotional or physical abuse is present in a dating relationship, know that the abuser is a loser; the abuse will become worse as time goes by, so turn on your heels and move quickly away from the influence of this person. Period!”

Take Care Of Yourself

Not everyone in an abusive relationship can be diagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome. However, it is especially important for anyone leaving an abusive relationship, to seek counseling, to spend a few years rebuilding self-esteem and finding a lifestyle that teaches him or her that they should not allow abuse, in any form, in their relationships. The attitude and example that adults in their family, set for their children could stop the abuse factor in its tracks.

Be a listening ear for a friend who is a victim of abuse

If you have a friend who is involved in an abusive relationship, be there for them, encourage them that they are too good to be treated in that manner and suggest they seek outside intervention, such as counseling in self-esteem, and ultimately self-protection.

Could they be a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome? Be kind, be patient. Be a friend. Tell them that, No one is born with an excuse to abuse another person!

What defines friendship? What are the basic ingredients that make it work? Certainly friendship cannot be based only and entirely on trust, as trust cannot be taken for granted considering personal issues and beliefs can storm in at any time.

So, where does someone live within the sphere of such relationship when the two common denominators keep on fluctuating under those unpredictable factors and behaviours? What happens when both parties start to realise that they don’t have much in common after all? And most of all, why?

I think we need to start by splitting in two main sub-categories a structure where true friendship represents one category while what we will define as “shallow” friendship, if only for reference purposes, represent the other.

The latter is forged out of necessity, needs and fears: better to lean on someone rather than face the incongruence of our life alone, better to have someone else who can half the weight of our problems rather than having to carry the weight on our shoulders all by ourselves and still, better to have someone who will take our mind away from our own issues by presenting us, at least for a little while, with their own pieces of broken world.

But if we were to analyse our true feelings on the subject from a different perspective, we would eventually realise that nothing leaves a bad taste in our mouth than an untruthful display of love or a constant dislike for reciprocal respect. There’s nothing worst than realising that, to give our time and us freely, could be taken out of its real context and could be translated into something completely opposite to what it was intended to be in the first place. Then again, are we supposed to censor someone else’s take on our “free choice of giving” or, once it’s been given, should we allow free interpretation, even when that could potentially damage us?

What’s more important, the personal philosophical reason behind an action, or the result it will eventually lead to? The deep meaning of a belief evolving from its roots to its natural state, or its impact surfacing into someone’s life?

I believe the answer lies in the fact that in the true and honest act of giving, truth and honesty still lie within acceptance, if a relationship of any kind is destined to survive at all, for false pretences always carry a death sentence with them. Sooner or later they will reveal all the fundamental flaws that they inevitably hold within themselves, undermining and damaging irrevocably what was built on unsecured basis from the word go.

Like promises of reciprocal love, friendship asks nothing else than to be respected in the same way. Interpretation it’s therefore invalidated as the universal meaning of a close connection such friendship takes over.

To determine a fact is to imply our understanding of it through objectivity, hoping that the same respectful perception will take place in someone else’s mind and soul. That, together with honesty of intent, should be enough to determine the truthfulness of a point of view. But that’s seldom the case.

Petty reasons defy the strongest of friendships sometime and few irate seconds blow apart years of closeness. It’s sad to notice how mankind never seem to rise to the occasion, unless bound by tragic events. Nothing seems to undermine our arrogance of wanting to be right at all costs and every little word counts in what becomes a battle for the survival of pride in each and everyone of us.

We don’t realise that when someone lose we all do, for a piece of love denied is a piece of universe lost and that our hour of victory is, as a matter of fact, our hour of loss.

True friendship, instead, has a more profound raison d’être, as it lies at the core of human existence as we know it. It’s when someone we know that values us that our place in the world is truly defined. It’s when someone knows our most intimate secrets that, by accepting them without any form of judgment, it confirms our individual identity.

Through relationships we learn about ourselves in a way that would not be possible otherwise, because we wouldn’t have any external reference on which to mirror our own thoughts, behaviours and emotions. The lack of any feedback would therefore make any action absolutely worthless as no reaction or learning curve would come from it. But while a normal relationship grazes only the surface of who we really are, true friendship breathes us in, heedless of anything else but what is more important to us. The evaluation of our world assumes therefore the tones of a beautiful lesson where teacher and pupil transcend each other, as the importance of the purpose out weights the importance of the result.

So is friendship merely a utopia? Obviously not. It might be hard to find most of the time and even harder to hold on to but it is a fundamental and indispensable part of our growth drawing us to the following conclusion: only other human beings will eventually determine our legacy, as the depth of what we achieved will be only a direct reflection of the depth of the change we caused in others.

The deeper a friendship, the deeper a change, the more our immortality will take its rightful place in history.

© Luca Del Bianco 2005. All Rights Reserved.

The issues in front of a single parent are far from encouraging. It is not only an arduous task to fend for the child all by yourself but the trauma and memories of the past haunt like a nightmare. And dating definitely is not in the agenda or may not even feature in the priority list.

Let me reassure you upfront that dating is most surely appropriate and a topic worth giving your precious time for.

You owe it to your self

Agreed that parenting is one of the most wonderful tasks for an adult. The child, will always remain a bundle of joy and a great reliever of many adult stresses and tensions. But come to think of it, you need not confine yourself to that single activity only ! You are something more than just a parent. You are thinking, dreaming adult who has romantic ideas, sexual desires and who has an implicit need for meaningful adult company. If you ignore that, you are losing a vital part of yourself too.

You also owe it for your children

Dating or seeking company in the opposite sex is not only natural and healthy for you but also for your children. They come to know you as a happy, complete parent, whether mom or dad, and not a sulking, depressed individual. They feel better to see you enjoying yourself in the company of someone else, other than their other parent.

More over, you are setting an example in front of them, to follow, when they grow up and look for someone to date.

Dating Tips for the Doting parent

So now you realize the importance of dating despite and in spite of you being a single parent. Even then, important questions could be bothering you, like how to approach it, how to answer the kids’ curiosity, etc. I have compiled important dos and don’ts which may help you in becoming a safe, happy and successful single doting and dating parent !

1. Do not encourage a constant stream of new comers in our house. Do the necessary introductions to only those people who you presume will be more or less regular visitors to your house.

2. Do not break the concept of dating to your children all of a sudden. Gentle does it. Explain the idea gradually by mentioning that this is something very natural, which every adult is expected to do.

3. Do not allow your kids to accompany you on every single date. Do it for yourself first. Dating is a time which you have reserved for yourself.

4. Do not feel overwhelmed by your children’s concerns about your dating. Do listen to them and tell them firmly that this is an area where they are not supposed to take a decision.

5. Do not try to keep your dating life confidential and ask your kids to keep this grand secret to themselves. Do make it easy and uncomplicated for them. Make it look natural and comfortable with frank and sincere communication. And ensure that you ex partner is also part of this exercise as otherwise the children get torn between loyalties and guilt.

This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name and website © Copyright.

With the divorce rate as high as it is, you must do everything possible to strengthen and protect your marriage. You can’t always have your way or give in to your feelings. You have to discipline yourself to do the right thing. You must do what is in the best interest of your marriage. Here are some fundamental guidelines that can make a huge difference.

1. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. I like to remember that God gave us two ears and one mouth. Use them in this ratio. Listening is truly an art form and it takes practice and commitment. If you don’t listen to each other, someone else will.

2. Don’t always try to be right. You cannot be right and be married. It is always better to do the right thing than to be right. Trying to always be right will doom the future of your bond. The powerful chemistry that you once felt will be diluted.

3. Never threaten to leave or divorce. Things change between you once you speak these words and it’s hard to correct. Even if you’re angry, don’t threaten divorce.

4. Be quick to say, “I’m sorry”. It amazes me how rapidly a couple is strengthened in love by sincerely saying they are sorry.

5. Don’t expect your spouse to believe all the same principles you do. Respect their differences and them. Love them unconditionally.

6. Build your spouse up. Freely give encouragement and praise. Remember, it is better to give than to receive. Most people are starving for kind and uplifting words. Don’t let the person you love fall into this category.

7. Always side with your spouse in disputes outside of the marriage, even when they are wrong. Respect the bond of your marriage. Give your spouse the message that “You can always count on me. I’m here for you.”

8. Learn to appreciate the things your spouse does and verbalize these often. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Thank them for the things they do for the marriage. Cooking, cleaning and bringing home a paycheck are worthy of frequent appreciation.

9. Try to never go to bed angry with your spouse. At the very least, learn to allow a truce between you until you can figure things out. Your marriage is more important than the conflict.

10. Start and end each day by telling your spouse that you love them. Let your eyes and your embrace convey the same message.

So you’ve got your profile all set up, and you’re ready to start browsing for dates. You find some that pique interest and want to send a message, but what do you say? These days some men have gotten so lazy when it comes to their first impressions. Yes, the message you send to any woman will be her first impression of you, and of course you want it to be a positive one.

I can’t tell you how many messages I’ve gotten that just say “Hey baby,” or “Wanna hang out?” Do you really think any woman is going to respond to this? The answer is no. The key to writing a good message, one that will trigger a response, is originality. So don’t copy and paste the same message and send it to fifty different women because they will be able to tell that it’s not personal.

One way to really catch a woman’s attention is by using her name in the message. Now I don’t mean repeat it ten times because that’s just creepy, but start off the message with her name. Right from the start she’ll know you actually took the time to see what her name was. Next, try and mention something you read in her profile (yes you need to READ her profile). If she feels that you actually took time to sit and find out about her, she might take the time to get to know you better, too.

In your message try avoid mentioning how you want to have sex with her, or how hot you think she is. That is definitely a turn off; she will instantly think you are just some pervert. Remember, we are going for originality, and telling a girl she is hot couldn’t be less original. Also, keep your life story out of this. You are sending her a message, which means she hasn’t said she is interested yet, so wait until she tells you she is interested before getting into how many pets you have.

So, when sending messages to women, just remember to be original, and personable. I guarantee you will get way more responses and dates.

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